tell your sister to shave her snatch
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I will pee on everything he values.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
