I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I love you. Go after that dick
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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