the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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