I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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