your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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