He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
