so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
