he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
