i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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