Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
