I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
