What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
