I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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