sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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