bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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