why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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