Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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