you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Never underestimate the power of titties
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
