GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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