found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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