Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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