That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
