He is such a slut. More and more my type.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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