i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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