I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
