Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
