i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
