happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
