if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
