i may or may not be watching the land before time
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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