you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
