So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
