I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
