Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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