we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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