Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize