i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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