chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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