Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just had sex bonerless
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
