i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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