This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
