i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
