you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize