"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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