Need sex. Gaining weight.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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