I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
