I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
