just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
