if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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