i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
