So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
