shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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