So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
