about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We're too hungover to prance.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize