Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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