sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
