Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
