is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize