so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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