Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
