if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
