So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
