Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
