i just had sex bonerless
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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