I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I touched a dick in church today
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
